Can anybody best me?

[Watauga]

  I have been Married to a Redhead for 42 years...........

If yours is like mine (also 42 yrs,) she my have mellowed with age and turned gray from dealing with you.

DandJofAZ Well  You could be Exactly Right! 

[Hanshi]

Just to continue this interesting thread, and give credit to Badger where it's due, I'll say this:  Our esteemed leader has put up with me for many, many years and has so far STILL AVOIDED his schizophrenia diagnosis.  IMHO that's true strength.....sorta.

I first married a little over 50 years ago (an RIP situation) and have now been "hitched" to my present squeeze going on 32 years.  One thing I can say about marriage is:
 

[hotfxr]

I have been beaten, shot, stabbed, run over, run into, fallen down a cliff or two, hassled by a bear, bitten by a black widow, attacked by a barracuda, scared by a shark, and the list goes on. Through it all, for some unknown reason, I have managed to stay married for 42 years. AND I have done most of it living is this insane asylum called California.      Nobody can beat that. 

[beowulf]

I have been beaten, shot, stabbed, run over, run into, fallen down a cliff or two, hassled by a bear, bitten by a black widow, attacked by a barracuda, scared by a shark, and the list goes on. Through it all, for some unknown reason, I have managed to stay married for 42 years. AND I have done most of it living is this insane asylum called California.      Nobody can beat that.

done all of that except the california thing without the benefit of being married !  feel kinda like an old chew toy that a pitbull`s been working over for several years 

[Hanshi]

I have been beaten, shot, stabbed, run over, run into, fallen down a cliff or two, hassled by a bear, bitten by a black widow, attacked by a barracuda, scared by a shark, and the list goes on. Through it all, for some unknown reason, I have managed to stay married for 42 years. AND I have done most of it living is this insane asylum called California.      Nobody can beat that.

Okay, brother, I've accepted and dealt with those things including snake bite.  It's all in a days work, as they (whomever "they" is) say.  The one thing I've managed to avoid - and that one thing would be the end of me on this planet - is an attack by the previously mentioned Mr. 8 legs.

Only three things actually scare me.  1. Members (any) of the order "araneae".  2. Feral dog packs.  3. Cities.  Everything else I can kill, frighten or render helpless - excepting brother hotfxr.

My left hand can kill a man; the right hand?  Well I'm scared of that SOB myself!