My Dear Friends

[Chaffa Hosa]

I have come to a conclusion and just before the end of the year, I wanted to thank you for the e-mails you have forwarded to me over the year. Clearly, they have made me more informed.....
I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat pooh in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, I now have to wipe the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387th time. But that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft is sending me for participating in their special email programmes. Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split seven million dollars with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward emails to seven friends and make a wish within five minutes.
I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gas without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number and then I'll get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan .
I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
If you don't send this email to at least 144 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will sit on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.
I know this because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's second husband's barber.
Oh and by the way..........a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with a very low IQ who don't have enough sex, always read their emails while holding the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late!!!!!!.

[old salt]

 this just made my day

[Dryball]

Shows what Jerry thinks of us, doesn't it?

Ned

[tom hargrove]

yea ned em around a bit. he needs it.

[Roaring Bull]

um, um ,um ..........

[Chaffa Hosa]

I get very few from you fellows 

[FrankG]

 

[Razor]

I wasn't holding my mouse !!!  I wasn't,  I wasn't, I wasn't !!!   

[bull frog]

well I was, but I dropped it real quick.

[Thumper]

Ya see...all that neagive press about smoking just went out the window.....it's impossible to smoke and hold a mouse at the same time!!! Obviously smokers are more intelligent and sexually active than the majority of the politically correct bunch. However, on the negative side, my mom was told not to smoke while pregnant with me or there could be consequences.....the doctor was right, I was born with a small BUTT!!! LOL!

[Chaffa Hosa]

Ya see...all that neagive press about smoking just went out the window.....it's impossible to smoke and hold a mouse at the same time!!! Obviously smokers are more intelligent and sexually active than the majority of the politically correct bunch. However, on the negative side, my mom was told not to smoke while pregnant with me or there could be consequences.....the doctor was right, I was born with a small BUTT!!! LOL!

I hate to say it Thumper but you ,like me, ain't quite right     

[Razor]

The whole bunch of youse jus' ain't right..
Mebbe that's why I like it here so much. 
Folks like me. 

[Chaffa Hosa]

The whole bunch of youse jus' ain't right..
Mebbe that's why I like it here so much. 
Folks like me. 

You'll never see a Large Mouth Bass trying to be a minnow 

We ain't minnow's

[Razor]