Honest Questions that Caused Problems

[Hanshi]

1.  Years ago a bunch of us had a ceremony at our house.  We rotated each time among the groups homes.  We were a tiny bit careless and just happened to be having the ceremony in our living room.  Afterward, I innocently called the Dept. of Agriculture to ask the best way to get goat and chicken blood out of a carpet.  An hour later a priest, psychiatrist and a person from Family & Children's Services came knocking at my door.

2.  While driving one day I had to swerve to miss some junk that fell out of a redneck's pickup.  As my luck often is I was stopped by a cop.  Walking up to my window he silently gave a suspicious look at the car's interior.  After several long moments he asked, "got any drugs, weapons, contraband"?  I innocently replied, "what you need"?  The rest of my day had to be cancelled.

Most of us at some point or another have sworn off blind dates.  And I found out early on they are never a good idea.  A "friend" talked me into a blind date once and that was when I said "never again".  He really built her up.  "She has everything a man could ask for", he said.  After a while I gave in, but I also have to admit he was telling the truth.  Because, you see, she had muscles, a mustache, a pickup truck, a dog, chainsaw and a shotgun.  That really is near everything a man could ask for.

[Hanshi]

I also dated a real witch many decades ago.  How does one know?  Well, something eventually happen and you'll know.  My girlfriend and I were coming home from a mutual friend's birthday party.  We were only a few minutes on the road when she put her hand on my knee and whispered a couple of words in my ear.  Hard to believe but as soon as she did that I TURNED INTO A DIRT ROAD.!

[doggoner]

I hope the dust cloud wasn't TOO large when you parked.

doggoner

[Hanshi]

I hope the dust cloud wasn't TOO large when you parked.

doggoner

I think she was being very, very nice to me.  I could have been turned into a garden slug!  But I'll take the dirt road any day.